Ending my personal search for UFOs or any sort of intelligent life

It's official and I have thought about my decision long and hard.  Having no scientific evidence whatsoever and having wasted what seems to be countless hours looking at planes, making sure that they are planes and not wiggity-jiggity flying spaceships, I have decided to put away my personal search for extraterrestrial spacecraft.

I know many of you will be shocked, that once a tenacious researcher, one who even until recently would go out of their way to stop their car on the side of the road and look up into the bright lights shining down on the earth -- the ones that move, of course, not the fixed ones; Yes, I KNOW the fixed ones are stars!! -- this tireless researcher has decided to call it quits.  Finished,  Done.  It's official.

Still... when I look up into the night sky, I think...



Nope, wait.  I am not going into that again!  Every time someone asks  me, "What's that you are looking at?"  I will say "a plane," no matter if someone's feet are dangling for the bottom of it.  Yes, I will say it's a plane.  And of course, it just happens to be a plane that abducts somebody, I will call it a plane.  Or a helicopter, or a glider.   Or a weather balloon!

If a weather balloon abducts a weatherman, I will call it poetic justice, not a UFO!  If a flying disc abducts compact discs, I will call it very non-internet savvy thief, but not a UFO!.   If a flying cigar abducts a bunch of Cuban cigars, I will call it a smuggler.  That's that!!

Come to think of it, the whole idea of calling something a UFO is a bit defeatist.  For example, it's like saying just because I don't know what this blue artichoke is, I should acknowledge my own ignorance, put away my own creativity and call it a UFO.  Well, artichokes don't fly, unless I threw it up in the air for a moment.  Then, it would be a UFO for a few seconds and then be an unidentified Non-flying object.

From this day forward, if I find a blue artichoke, I will not call it a UFO, nor a UNFO, but I will use my creativity and call it a "DG457-89" and store it in a top secret warehouse!

© 2011 Timothy Casey  All Rights Reserved, even wrongs reserved!  So There!